Lessons learned from behaving rashly.

Two very surreal things happened in March of 2020: COVID-19 began sweeping the world in a dramatic way, and I met (virtually) a man who ticked almost all of my ideal-partner boxes.

Rakesh and I had broken up one year prior, and as intended, I’d spent the year truly single for the first time in my adult life.

After spending years either in codependent relationships or madly pursuing one fling or another, I spent a year not putting the vast majority of my mental focus and passion towards romantic relationships, for a change. …

The Guidebook for 30-something guys who somehow don’t know this yet…?

Hello, 30-something-year-old-man whose dating app photos depict selfies of you from various angles in your car wearing sunglasses. Are you struggling to connect with someone special past just one date? Here is your painfully obvious, definitive guide on what to do…and what not to do.

1.) Ask her questions about herself

Is she asking you questions about yourself, and showing interest in the answers? How does that make you feel? Good? Fabulous! But you’re not going to impress her solely by showing her that you’re a cool person or whatever. Consider maybe also being interested in who she is, as well? Girls don’t fall for the…

The Case for Pseudoscience

Boudha Stupa, Kathmandu, Nepal. Image by author.

I can’t stand people who promote unproven COVID remedies, think that masks weaken our immune systems, and suspect that the whole thing is a hoax. I am extremely critical of “scientific” claims which are criticized by the majority of experts in the related fields. It drives me crazy when people sing the praises of claims they know are based on anecdotal evidence but refuted by peer-reviewed studies.

However, a strange experience I had in Nepal a few years ago made me think twice about immediately bashing every claim that doesn’t align with the best science of the day.

Nepal and Earthquakes

At age…

The times they are a-changin'…so why aren’t relationship models?

Image by Jamie Street; taken from Unsplash free stock images.

Usually, when I hear someone talk about ‘alternatives’ to traditional relationships, I roll my eyes and groan. Secretly. While I feign interest. Not another millennial obsessed with polyamory, I think.

It’s not that I have anything wrong, exactly, with polyamory; it’s great that it works for some people…But it’s just that it isn’t for me. And every time some guy with abs like Jesus (of course he had a six-pack, right?) mentions polyamory, that means he’s effectively kicked off my dating bingo card, as far as I’m concerned.

One such cutie sent me the most fascinating youtube video recently, though…

A startling story about my first anal orgasm

Daho and I. Image by author.

“Just relax,” he said. “Relax all your muscles.”
“I don’t know about this,” I said.

I meet Daho during Day of the Dead celebrations in Mexico. He is a friend of a friend. An attractive friend of a friend, and possibly off-limits since said friend has a bit of a crush on him. He isn’t my usual type — stocky, muscular, and tall as opposed to my normally lanky and slight lovers…but he is strong and confident and he comes from a culture I find at once exotic and familiar. Shared, but also not. …

And how it impedes love

Image of author, by author.

When most people think of the word ‘fake’ in conjunction with ‘sex’, one major thing comes to mind: Women who fake orgasms. I’m proud to say that save for 1 or 2 occasions during my (much) younger days, I’ve not made a habit of this. However, I have noticed one disturbing trend in my sex life: The older I’ve become and the more sex I have had, the less genuine I have become in my sexual persona. …

He was the perfect guy…until he wasn’t.

The Interior of Noel’s campervan. Image by the author.

Noel and I spent 3 nearly-perfect days together right before he had to leave the country. Our meeting was characterized by coincidences that aided in our fast boding:

-First, we discovered that we shared an interest in natural building and a strong affinity for Nepal. We met in Mexico, but soon we discovered that we had rented the exact same room…in the exact same house, in the exact same neighborhood in Nepal, but at different times. We had mutual Facebook friends…from Nepal. He was even friends with a handsome Nepal friend I had nearly gotten together with 8 years prior.

In the hills of Oaxaca, Mexico

The view from Huautla de Jimenez. Image by Author.

Last October, I took a journey through the switchback roads six hours north of Oaxaca de Juarez to attempt to gain isights into the patterns and roadblocks of my own mind by taking psychedelic mushrooms administered by curanderos (healers) during veladas, or traditional healing ceremonies. I participated in two journeys under the tutelage of two different curanderos who I will describe here. All names have been changed for privacy.

Below is my account of the experience, and here is an article on the history of this practice and some personal and general background info, which I recommend reading first.



We choose how we react to what happens to us

Image by author, of author.

Dear Me,

Ok, so your ex-boyfriend with whom you talk every day has a date. On Monday. With a girl. Who is not you. He has a date, and she sounds great. She sounds confident. She sounds like she has a lot in common with him.

Ok, so you are going to go back to his town-where your Dad lives, where you met him-in a month. For the first time since breaking up and leaving the country. And you’re going to stay there for a month. A whole month.

Ok, so you have been fortunate enough to have never seen…

Prequel to a journey through the mind in the hills of Oaxaca, Mexico

A mural in San Jose del Pacifico, Oaxaca, Mexico (another town where visitors come to take mushrooms.) Image by author.

Yesterday was Yom Kippur. It was my first time fasting and ‘celebrating’ the holiday, which is about reflection and atonement.

I don’t like fasting. It’s really hard. You have this persistent feeling of discomfort that comes from being hungry, but you don’t do anything to try to stop it, like we normally do when we feel uncomfortable. In this way we learn to sit with discomfort without turning away.

This weekend will likely be my first psychedelic trip, and I’m nervous. I’ve micro-dosed but never tripped before. Generally, I prefer to preside over my mind with as strong a grip…

Aliza Adina

Nomadic Jew-Bu INFP with a passion for writing about travel, relationships, and more. Superpower: I can eat a whole batch of cookie dough all by myself.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store